What Was I Scared Of?
Well I was walking in the night, and I saw nothing scary.
For I have never been afraid of anything...not very.
Then I was deep within the woods, when suddenly I spied them.
I saw a pair of pale green pants with nobody inside them.
I wasn't scared, but yet I stopped. What could those pants be there for?
What could a pair of pants at night be standing in the air for?
And then they moved those empty pants. They kind of started jumping.
And then my heart, I must admit, It kind of started thumping.
So I got out. I got out fast. As fast as I could go, sir.
I wasn't scared but pants like that, I did not care for no sir.
After that a week went by, then one dark night in Greenwich,
I had to do an errand. I had to fetch some Greenwich Spinach.
Well, I had fetched the spinach and was starting back through town,
When those pants raced 'round the corner, and they almost knocked me down!
I dropped my Greenwich Spinach, but I didn't even care!
I ran for home, believe me, I had really had a scare!
Now bicycles where never meant for pale green pants to ride them.
Especially SPOOKY pale green pants with nobody inside them!
The next night I was fishing for doubt trout on Roover River,
When those pants came rowing towards me, well I started into shiver.
And by now I was so frightened that I'll tell you, but I hate to...
I SCREAMED AND ROWED A WAY AND LOST MY HOOK AND LINE AND BAIT TOO!
I ran and found a brickel bush and hid myself away.
I got brickels in my britches, but I stayed there anyway.
I stayed all night, the next night too. I'd be there still now doubt,
But I had to do an errand, so the next night I went out.
I had to do an errand, had to pick a peck of snide,
In a dark and gloomy snide field that was almost nine miles wide.
I said,"I do not fear those pants with nobody inside them."
I said and said and said those words. I said them, but I lied them.
Then I reached into a snide bush, and the next thing that I knew,
I felt my hand touch someone, and I'll bet that you know who.
And there I was caught in the snide and in that dreadful place,
Those spooky empty pants and I were standing face to face!
I YELLED FOR HELP! I SCREAMED! I SHRIEKED! I HOWLED! I YOWLED! I CRIED!
"OH SAVE ME FROM THESE PALE GREEN PANTS WITH NOBODY INSIDE!"
But then a strange thing happened. Those pants began to cry.
Those pants began to tremble. They were just as scared as I.
I never heard such whimpering, and I began to see,
That I was just as strange to them; as they were strange to me.
I put my arm around their waist and sat right down beside them.
I calmed them down poor empty pants with nobody inside them.
And now we meet quite often, those empty pants and I.
We never shake or tremble. We both just smile and we say, "HI."