The Codpiece
(By Gorlan of the Red Lands)
(To the Tune of "Greesleeves")
If you've never worn a codpiece before
It is a strange sensation
When you traverse across the field
It makes obscene gyrations
(Chorus)
A Cod-piece can fool them all
Make them think you're large
Even if you're small
Just be sure you don't fool yourself
For it's still just imagination
You have to be careful in a crowd
Each step made with hesitation
For a careless bump to another's rump
May result in penetration
(Chorus)
And to be sure it works like a lure
And will raise a wench's expectations
But have a care you have something there
Or the night will end in frustration</p>
(Chorus)
They can be made of silk or be made of steel
You can paint them with illuminations
You can even use an old drinking horn
And gain the blue feather's admiration
(Chorus)
There are many reasons to put one on
It really needs no explanation
But the best of all, It will still stand tall
Even if yours is on a vacation.
(Chorus)
They can be at rest or in full salute
In any desired configuration
But the best to date was a castle gate
The drawbridge got a standing ovation
(Chorus)
So, having said that, here's mine 
The hardest part is where to start with these pieces. Because in REAL LIFE, what Yoda said is simply WRONG. ("Size Matters Not")
Based on a combination of sources, pics ref etc. It's roughly the same size overall as some of them floating around out there, with more of a concave for that "Cupping Feel" 
Now, I know this might not matter for you Gal Fett's out there, but there's a definite benefit of support for us. Not to mention, it doesn't just lay flat down on our "Area" looking like a cardboard cutout or something ....
