just a question...

As has been already stated, your "good friend" obviously isn't as good or as much of a friend as you might have previously thought. I suppose the exact circumstances factor in to all of this but when it comes right down to it, I would say since this is a girlfriend and not someone you have committed your life to yet, move on. You should consider forgiving her, but forgiving doesn't mean staying with her. I would say forgive her, but move on. With your so called friend, there really isn't anything to say because this person has proved that they are not your friend. Again, just move on. There are many fish in the sea.
 
I'm not saying it's right, but in a way your friend did you a big favor. If he hadn't done that, the relationship could have progressed and then it would have hurt even more when it did happen. This way, you know now, and can move on to a better woman, who won't disrespect you like that. Wipe your hands clean and move on, IMO.
Stay positive brother.
 
If I were you I'd cut both of them straight out of your life, no drama, no beatings nothing just complete separation. they don't deserve even another second of your time. Walk away and let them lounge in their seediness and guilt.
 
since there is no money changing hands I think boba would just walk away from both of them forever.
 
Trust No One.


Well, not really, that's a little extreme.

Dump your friend, no excuse in the world is good enough ( like, "she came on to me, " we were drunk" , etc. )

Dump the girl, same reason. They could have stopped at any time, but thought they could get away with it. They will try it again.... human nature.

You will always be second guessing their actions, always be worried about who she's with. Don't put yourself through that. It keeps you awake at night, makes you crazy, and will turn you into a psycho-jealous-overprotective-never trusting boyfriend for some future girlfriend.


The part of you that cares for her wants you to give her a chance to redeem herself. You will try to talk yourself into it, and it will win over the "get rid of her" part of you.

Once that happens, history will repeat itself.

Don't have any phone contact or email contact with them. Don't do or say anything you will later regret, because they will twist your words and actions to make you look like the bad guy. Just cut them off....end of story, start fresh after you take a break from relationships, and DON'T jump into another one right away.


Best of luck, brother pizzaman.

Yes to timmer you listen. Remember you keep your head up because you didnt do anything wrong. Be strong bro.
 
since there is no money changing hands I think boba would just walk away from both of them forever.

No money exchanged hands, but Boba does need to preserve his reputation as a mercyless B.A.M.F., so I imagine blaster and flame thrower would have come into play for him.

However in this and in all real cases violence is not the answer so just walk away. also I would ignore andy emails they send or pleas for forgiveness as they are 99.999999999999% likely to hurt you again.
 
Relationships are built on trust, when the trust is gone you have no foundations to continue building upon.

I have always had a one strike policy when it comes to relationships. If you betray me once then you don't deserve my trust, nor my friendship.

My advice is to make this crystal clear when a relationship begins to blossom. I said to my wife when we started dating - "If you ever want to be with someone else then at least have the decency to tell me so that we can end the relationship first."

We had that conversation 15 years ago and we are still going strong, thanks to our mutual understanding.
 
If I were you I'd cut both of them straight out of your life, no drama, no beatings nothing just complete separation. they don't deserve even another second of your time. Walk away and let them lounge in their seediness and guilt.



Agreed. The best revenge is happiness. You should move on. I know you are hurt. But this rough time shall soon pass and you will find better. Someone who respects you for yourself.:)
 
Wow...this sucks man! I'm sorry to hear your troubles in your personal life. Being cheated on is one of the hardest things to get over. Fortunately, I haven't had it happen to myself (as far as I know), but it happened to my good Navy buddy. He actually walked in while they were "doing the deed" (I think we can leave it at that). Long story short, he picked up the guy, threw him through a closet door, and dumped the chick. I'm not saying that is the right reaction, but what would you do in a situation like that. I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I would do the same and maybe worse.

It seems that some amount of time has passed so you should just let thoughts of violence toward your ex-friend go (assuming you have thought about it because it is only natural). It really isn't worth it to call him out. On the other hand, if he were to say something to you or anyone else that is offensive or poking fun at the fact he got with your girl, you have your honor to protect. In a situation like that, it would be your call. I would personally make him wish he never did or said anything. Maybe not the right thing, but it is right for myself.

As far as the girl goes, I'm sorry to say that it is in your best interest to get rid of her. You need to get as far away as possible, emotionally and physically. That is truly the only way to heal. By all means, forgive her for "To err is human, to forgive, divine", but DO NOT stay with her. I'm sorry bro, but once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!

Hope things lighten up! I'll be thinking of you because NO ONE should have to go through something like this.

Take Care,
Kody
 
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ouch... ya looks like every1 agrees... i think I'll have a serious talk with her and lay everything on the table.

As for the guy I already had a long talk with him 2... still really mad but I'm not gonna throw any punches, just not who I am. Ugh lol why can't it just be easy :p
 
no shortage of similar advice here. Prolly got enough, but I think it was a good insight posted earlier to say that her confession came as a release of her own guilt rather than her own good feelings toward you. Her guilt is a good sign she ain't all bad, but unless you're married for years with children, cheating like this so early in the relationship just means you're done. You don't deserve to be treated that way. Nobody does. You have every right to move on and forget about her. And you will be better off for it, believe me.

cheers!
 
As for the guy I already had a long talk with him 2... still really mad but I'm not gonna throw any punches, just not who I am. Ugh lol why can't it just be easy :p

It is actually super easy, takes 2 words "Leave Now" or you can go a little nicer and just say "See ya"
 
Yeah man, I've made the mistake of keeping an old gf around after she's cheated...Worst mistake ever!!!

Bail bro, I'm sure she's not all that anyway. You can do better.
 
Once a cheater, always a cheater.

They're not lying.

I had an ex who cheated.. Left me for the guy she cheated with and came back crawling.. I took her back. Guess what? She cheated again.

Save yourself a world of hurt. It will sting now, but not near as bad as it will if you try to hang on and it happens again another year or two down the road.

Dump the cargo and let the imperials have her.
 
This is a tough one man but you have to cut all ties with both parties. If they can do it once they they can do it again or even worse. As for a violent confrontation with him I always looked at it this way, if you beat him then you have to do the same to her since they are equally responsible for betraying you. Since you can't hit a girl my advice would be to stay away from them for life. They will both get served justice later on in life, karma is funny like that, you always get whats coming to you. Just learn from this and move on. Sorry to hear such awfull news.
 
:confused :confused

Oooof. :( :facepalm :angry

I gotta say, IMO it's not as cut and dry as all that. Fact is, the "friend" although a friend, is still a man. When it comes right down to it, it's the girl who has the say so when it comes to the "sheets". I say, cut ties with the girl, and keep the friend. Punish him for it, but don't necessarily put all of the blame on him. If he's really your friend, he feels horrible. Now that it's happened, he'll think twice before even thinking about doing that to you again if you handle it right. ( I'm not talking about bro's before "...." either). Although it sounds like it I'm sure.

What it comes down to is, boys will be boys. There is scientific fact to it. Some just don't have the moral/intestinal fortitude to handle a situation like this without caving in. Which is why we get such a bad rap. The girl on the other hand, should have nipped it in the bud before it went too far. It's testament that she's no good for you, and WILL do it again in the future.

I'm sorry this happened to you man

2 cents ...


FP
 
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Man, I'm with FP on this...I would let your bro know he is at the low end of the totem pole, but still keep him a friend. As for the woman, cut ties and draw the lines...give her the boot and then in a couple weeks or months when she is missing you, just keep standing your ground. You will find someone who wont do that **** to you, thats assured.
 
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