My simple 2 cents.
I understand both sides. However, one thing that sticks out to me from personal experience is the whole "Gifting" for lesser value to pay lower customs fees.
Where there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, as I do it all the time for my International Customers (and am happy to do so), there are pitfalls for the seller. I learned the hard way.
Just this year, I had two deals go very bad because the buyer requested that the shipment be gifted for a value of less than $100 ($20 to be specific). However, the buyer also requested that the shipment be insured for it's full value (what the buyer paid) which was $250. Canadian customs in this particular case, red flagged the shipment, and held onto it for 4 MONTHS ! the buyer, was upset with "ME", when all I did was follow instructions to the letter that the buyer laid out for me. Ultimately, I had to refund the buyer's money in the better interest of my reputation, and walk away with my tail tucked between my legs (like I did something wrong). In the end, the buyer ended up receiving the package, and I received no payment. This, is NOT fair.
So this is what your seller is trying to avoid. And for $1200, it's not out of line to want to protect yourself as a seller. Since this has happened to me, I no longer "gift" for a lessor value, if the item is to be insured. It is a conflict in terms to ANY customs official.
I totally agree, that your money is as good as anyone else's. And you're probably a very nice person. But the harsh truth is, in the world we live in today, the prop community is a breeding ground for trouble, and people wanting to take advantage. If you don't know someone, or have never had a dealing with them, it's hard to know for sure. So you have to take precautions as a seller, as there is absolutely NO protection for a seller in the U.S. that sells anything abroad. If someone wants to argue that, I can present a dozen cases in the last 7 years that will most certainly validate the point I'm emphasizing. Pay-Pal, is a joke. Pure and simple. They protect the buyer, above all else, at all cost. The seller gets the wrong end of the stick just about every time.
So where you would like some sort of "Feedback System" for "Sellers" in the interest of your protection as a buyer, we as sellers would want the very same thing for "Buyers". And when you get right down to it, it's not foolproof. People change their board names, log-in with a different IP address, pose as someone else, whatever. If someone wants to take advantage of you, ultimately, they will find a way, and there is nothing we can do to change that. TDH would have to start charging for auctions and sales, before anyone could justify their own personal time in mediating so many transactions here per day. they would need to pay for a full time employee. And that is not the focus of TDH. It is a "Discussion Forum", not an auction house. They allow people to "Buy, Sell, Trade" here. It is a privilege. They don't have to. And if problems like this continue, I wouldn't be at all surprised if eventually they revoke those privileges as a general rule. And frankly, I wouldn't blame them
Again, it is a privilege. We should treat it that way.
At TheDentedHelmet.com, we try to protect each other, and keep a vigilant "eye" on those that may not be out for our better interest. And the Forum's Administration does enforce "Fair Trade". They have asked a number of individuals in the past, to "cease and desist" from selling their wares here after receiving a number of complaints and investigating matters. They are there for "you".
So that would be my best suggestion to you. If you find that you are having an issue with another member, and their business practices, you need to report it to the administration, and allow them to take look into it for you. In the end, they cannot get your money back as a buyer, or force someone to sell something to you, but they can certainly help mediate a transaction before it turns sour. And if fault is found with someone you're buying from, they will not hesitate in taking the appropriate actions when necessary. Otherwise, this matter should have remained "Private" between you and the seller. I too have had an instance just recently, where a member thought that exposing a "private transaction" might force me to play nice, and sell to someone I did not wan to sell to. Now, please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying that was your intent. But it could be misinterpreted that way. Better luck to you both (Buyer, and Seller)
Merry Christmas :cheers
FP