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Lost my Mom yesterday

  1. #1
    superjedi's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2003
    From
    Newport News, VA
    Posts
    4,310

    Lost my Mom yesterday

    On February 27, 2011 at 10:45 am (California time), my mom Susan passed away from complications arising from lung cancer. She was 68 years and 2 days old.

    It's hard to believe she's not with us any more and I'm still pretty numb.

    She was first diagnosed about 4 or so years ago. But there's no telling how long she had it prior to that time. It was a slow-growing form of cancer and it was deemed very treatable. She went through surgery to remove one lobe of the affected lung, and went through chemo and radiation therapy, which she tolerated well. After going through her course of treatment, she was said to be cancer-free. She was only required to return to her oncologist once every 6 months for a follow-up PET scan.

    Recently, she had problems getting tired easily and was short of breath. My dad took her to the doctor and they discovered there was a buildup of fluid around her lung and heart. We were told this was a bad sign that the cancer had potentially returned. The fluid was tested and found to contain cancerous cells.
    The fluid build up was severe enough that the doctor decided to have her go through another surgery to cut a "window" in her pericardial sac to allow fluid to drain naturally so it wouldn't put pressure on her heart.

    After recovering at home for a few weeks from this procedure, she was again getting very fatigued and out of breath. My dad brought her back to the hospital again and she was diagnosed with pneumonia. After some other tests they found the cancer had spread to her other lung and lymphatic system.

    After a few days in the hospital, she lapsed into an unresponsive state late on Friday, February 25th, her 68th birthday. A day and a half later, she passed on, never regaining consciousness. My dad, Bob, and my younger brother Adam were at her side at the end. I had no opportunity to make it out to California before she went, but my dad held his cell phone up to her ear on Saturday afternoon so I could say what would be my last words to her.

    She was a wonderful mother and wanted nothing but the best for my brother and sister and I. She was not thrilled with my choice to join the military years ago! But as I had retired on January 1st, she knew that part of my life was over and I was "safe."

    I miss you, Mom. The family somehow seems much smaller than the loss of one person should allow.

    If you're a person of faith, please keep my dad in mind as he begins to bear going on without her.

  2. #2
    Triple-d's Avatar
    Member Since
    Dec 2010
    From
    Roanoke, VA USA
    Posts
    404

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I lost my father 5 years ago to pancreatic cancer. Me and my families thoughts and prayers are with you and your father. She is in a better place now where this is no pain.

  3. #3
    CrazyDart's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 2011
    From
    Mississauga, ON
    Posts
    21

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    Sorry for your loss. While I haven't lost a parent, I've had many other family members pass and it's always tough. It may seem cliche but your mom's in a better place now where she won't suffer ever again.

    She'll always be with you and your family. I'm not religious but I do believe that our loved ones who die are always around to watch over us.

  4. #4
    lawdawg 35's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 2010
    From
    Mount Joy PA
    Posts
    183

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    SuperJedi...

    I don't know what to say...Prayers go out for you and your family...Somehow that seems inadequate... I hope you and your family can take comfort in the fact that her ordeal is over,and she is in a better place now!

    My family's best to you and yours in the coming days......

  5. #5
    Mullreel's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jan 2010
    From
    North Texas
    Posts
    1,917

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    Superjedi,

    My last grandparent died last week. It hurts to lose family. I have lost all of my grandparents, my dad (heart attack 53), a stepdad (cancer 42), a daughter (kidney disease infant) and several other relatives. The two toughest were my daughter and my dad.

    I have learned to never say "I know how you feel" because I don't. I do know how I felt and still feel. I hope the best for you and your family during these next days and the coming year. I know I marked each holiday of the year with this is the first "xxxxxx" without them.

    I never felt so old as when my daughter died.
    I never felt so young as when my dad died.

    Chris

    I am sorry for your loss.

  6. #6

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    You have my sincerest condolences superjedi, I love my mom dearly, she's almost the same age (67) as your mom and I can only imagine how hard it would be to lose her now, I keep saying to her... "Mom, you need to make it to at least 80", which is when her mom / grandma passed away, so every day is a blessing until then. For those of us that are fortunate enough to have a really good mother / parents are truly blessed, so many people grew up not even knowing that kind of love and support. May God be with you and your family during this tough time and beyond, hopefully you find comfort in knowing she's in a much better place.

    Sincerely,

    GBH

  7. #7
    Mr Fett's Avatar
    Member Since
    Mar 2002
    From
    Michigan
    Posts
    2,077

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    So sorry to hear this, superjedi. All of us TDHers mourn her loss. What I mean is, while we did not know her, your support network here stands strong.

  8. #8
    welshwarrior123's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 2009
    From
    London, Hertfordshire
    Posts
    392

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    I can not contemplate how you are feeling. Although I do not know you personally, just know that mine, as well as everyone else's thoughts here on TDH, are of you and your family.
    Hope you are okay,
    sincerely,

    Welsh

  9. #9
    Lucksy31's Avatar
    Member Since
    Apr 2007
    From
    Plymouth Meeting, PA, 19462
    Posts
    2,220

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    Thoughts and prayers brother....

  10. #10
    formerly Woodman woodman's Avatar
    Member Since
    Dec 2008
    From
    LR,Arkansas
    Posts
    1,338

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    really sorry to hear that brother, you have my prayers.

  11. #11
    crow62's Avatar
    Member Since
    Aug 2009
    From
    Ambato
    Posts
    179

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    I lost my mom at 11yo, 38 years later, I feel she is always with me, she keeps taking my hand and giving me lovely advices. I hope you will feel the same nearly.
    We, at home will pray for you and your father
    Sicerely
    Giovanni

  12. #12

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    SuperJedi, my condolences to you and your family. Nothing I can say can make anything better but my prayers are with you all.

  13. #13
    FettFanatic's Avatar
    Member Since
    Aug 2006
    From
    Oklahoma City
    Posts
    749

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    Man I am so sorry to hear this. I lost my Mom to cancer in 2005. She was 51. It hurts so much to lose someone so close to you. I can tell you that the pain never goes away, but in time you learn how to deal with it. The good memories do start to replace the bad. I hope you will reach out if you ever need to talk.

  14. #14
    Evilhemmes's Avatar
    Member Since
    Aug 2010
    From
    Ipswich QLD Australia
    Posts
    211

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    Master Superjedi, sorry to hear of your loss, prayers and thoughts are with you, your father and family in this difficult time.

  15. #15
    WTFett's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2010
    From
    Northern VA
    Posts
    373

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    Sorry to hear this, you and your family will be in my prayers.

  16. #16
    deadland's Avatar
    Member Since
    Aug 2005
    From
    Murrieta CA
    Posts
    1,104

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    In our thoughts and prayers brother.

  17. #17
    Admin Staff obi sean kenobi's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2003
    From
    United States
    Posts
    1,115

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    So sorry my friend. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Sean

  18. #18
    boba68's Avatar
    Member Since
    Oct 2009
    From
    uk
    Posts
    48

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    sorry for your loss brother.....

  19. #19

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    Hey Im sorry to hear about your loss.

  20. #20

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    my condolences to you, brother !

  21. #21

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    Sorry for your loss.
    I lost my mother to throat cancer 2 years ago and still miss her every day.
    Remember to talk about your feelings to those who will listen.
    There is nothing worse than bottling your feelings up.

    Thinking of you
    Craig

  22. #22
    darkbambi's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 2010
    From
    France
    Posts
    46

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    sincere condolences to you ...
    will sent you good vibrations from France as much as possible to support you and your family

  23. #23
    superjedi's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2003
    From
    Newport News, VA
    Posts
    4,310

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    Thanks for all the kind thoughts, everyone.
    My emotions are all over the place. I feel a little better after talking to my dad and brother for a while last night, but it's still just a surreal feeling.

    I just started a new job a week ago Monday and fortunately they are very understanding and have allowed me a couple of days off. My wife just went through this same experience with her mom last October and she's been very supportive, even if it just means being there for me.

    I know it will take time to recover from this, but I know I've got my family and friends to talk to when I need it. Even my "internet friends" who I may not have ever met face to face. Thanks again.

  24. #24
    Dahone's Avatar
    Member Since
    Oct 2010
    From
    NYC
    Posts
    251

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. May she rest in peace.

    Rich

  25. #25
    batmann539's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2010
    From
    Sacramento, CA
    Posts
    222

    Re: Lost my Mom yesterday

    SuperJedi,
    Sorry for your loss brother. You're family will be in my prayers.

    Sean

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