What do you do when one of your good friends sleeps with your girl, if she confessed the whole thing? Curious to hear your responses
Discussion on just a question... within the The Sarlacc Pit forum, part of the Community category; What do you do when one of your good friends
What do you do when one of your good friends sleeps with your girl, if she confessed the whole thing? Curious to hear your responses
dump the chick, beat the stuff out of the so-called friend and be done with it.
Last edited by asok; 03-28-2009 at 10:50 AM.
Dump her. Ive been cheated on before...just make her know how bad she F'd up. I have no tolerance or sympathy for cheaters
Dump her quick and fast. Like pulling of a band aid.
It may hurt right now, but you will be better off in the long run.
heh... sounds fairly harsh but unanimous... definitely going to deal with him but.... how can I just cut the cord so quickly? If someone comes to you and confesses, shouldn't they be given another chance?
agree with the other comments.
abt giving another chance? no.
confession is good for the soul ie hers, not yours.
she was only easying her own guilt rather than thinking about ur feelings.
quickest way - sharp and short.
end it. get the shared goods divided out appropriately before it all goes south.
once a cheater always a cheater ask her how she would feel if you slept with her best friend or her sister,you would be a dog,so treat her like one and send her a$$ to the pound
I really dont know. You have to be in the situation to really know what you feel...
I guess that the first thought is to kill both...... then you have to calm down.... because you have to figure out how to kill them... (that was not serious)
It depends how nuch you love her also.... But, about the friend, no friend should do something like that. If that was to be my friend, i wouldnt call him that way.
If this has happened to you, ....sorry .
Well in all my lessons from the Maury Povich show and of course Judge Maybelline on Divorce Court, I would say move on without her. And the guy who slept with her is not your friend, a good friend wouldn't do that to you. Whether he is high or drunk it doesnt matter.
But remember my friend, Keep that hand strong!
J/K of course, trying to lighten the mood for ya.
heh ya... been 10 long months lol. Not that long when compared to marriages etc but still something to consider. Ya that guy obviously is no long my friend :P
Just hard to think of what to do next.....
As much as it hurts and seems like it'd be a good idea, lumping up either one of them isn't worth the troubles for you. Bettr to have that happen now than 10 years down the road when you're married with kids and a home.
Your friend, he's not your friend. You should cut him out of your life.
The girl, she'e committed the ultimate violation against you. As much as you may feel like you love her and want to try again, you will never have the level of trust for her you had before again. You will always wonder what she's doing and who she's with when she's not with you. That will cause stress and strain between you and her. She will likely do it again. The added pressure from you as you trust in her is broken, will push her away without neccessarily making her go. It will cause her to pull away and most likely do it again.
Best advice, cut her loose... your friend too.
this whole thread reminds me of the south park musical.
They've said it bro. Once a cheater always a cheater... she did it once, she could do it again. Leave her and find yourself a real trustworthy girl. For the guy, give him a nice knee and/or elbow to the face haha! Don't do that tho... just let him know he messed up
or how about this one..... If it is to offensive, then pleas admins or mods take it off, but i think we are all old enough for this crude pg-13 humor...
Last edited by asok; 03-28-2009 at 05:12 PM.
Vadr- Love that Yoda, man !
if you want to give her another chance, then by all means do so. however, your trust in her has been destroyed and it will slowly eat away at your relationship until there's nothing left but resentment. and it's the same if you want to keep your friend.
Rather than repeat the good advice above I will instead ask you a question. What would Boba Fett do?
Trust No One.
Well, not really, that's a little extreme.
Dump your friend, no excuse in the world is good enough ( like, "she came on to me, " we were drunk" , etc. )
Dump the girl, same reason. They could have stopped at any time, but thought they could get away with it. They will try it again.... human nature.
You will always be second guessing their actions, always be worried about who she's with. Don't put yourself through that. It keeps you awake at night, makes you crazy, and will turn you into a psycho-jealous-overprotective-never trusting boyfriend for some future girlfriend.
The part of you that cares for her wants you to give her a chance to redeem herself. You will try to talk yourself into it, and it will win over the "get rid of her" part of you.
Once that happens, history will repeat itself.
Don't have any phone contact or email contact with them. Don't do or say anything you will later regret, because they will twist your words and actions to make you look like the bad guy. Just cut them off....end of story, start fresh after you take a break from relationships, and DON'T jump into another one right away.
Best of luck, brother pizzaman.
As has been already stated, your "good friend" obviously isn't as good or as much of a friend as you might have previously thought. I suppose the exact circumstances factor in to all of this but when it comes right down to it, I would say since this is a girlfriend and not someone you have committed your life to yet, move on. You should consider forgiving her, but forgiving doesn't mean staying with her. I would say forgive her, but move on. With your so called friend, there really isn't anything to say because this person has proved that they are not your friend. Again, just move on. There are many fish in the sea.
I'm not saying it's right, but in a way your friend did you a big favor. If he hadn't done that, the relationship could have progressed and then it would have hurt even more when it did happen. This way, you know now, and can move on to a better woman, who won't disrespect you like that. Wipe your hands clean and move on, IMO.
Stay positive brother.
If I were you I'd cut both of them straight out of your life, no drama, no beatings nothing just complete separation. they don't deserve even another second of your time. Walk away and let them lounge in their seediness and guilt.
since there is no money changing hands I think boba would just walk away from both of them forever.
However in this and in all real cases violence is not the answer so just walk away. also I would ignore andy emails they send or pleas for forgiveness as they are 99.999999999999% likely to hurt you again.
Taking her back will only tell her that she got away with it and that she can do it again.
Relationships are built on trust, when the trust is gone you have no foundations to continue building upon.
I have always had a one strike policy when it comes to relationships. If you betray me once then you don't deserve my trust, nor my friendship.
My advice is to make this crystal clear when a relationship begins to blossom. I said to my wife when we started dating - "If you ever want to be with someone else then at least have the decency to tell me so that we can end the relationship first."
We had that conversation 15 years ago and we are still going strong, thanks to our mutual understanding.
Wow...this sucks man! I'm sorry to hear your troubles in your personal life. Being cheated on is one of the hardest things to get over. Fortunately, I haven't had it happen to myself (as far as I know), but it happened to my good Navy buddy. He actually walked in while they were "doing the deed" (I think we can leave it at that). Long story short, he picked up the guy, threw him through a closet door, and dumped the chick. I'm not saying that is the right reaction, but what would you do in a situation like that. I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I would do the same and maybe worse.
It seems that some amount of time has passed so you should just let thoughts of violence toward your ex-friend go (assuming you have thought about it because it is only natural). It really isn't worth it to call him out. On the other hand, if he were to say something to you or anyone else that is offensive or poking fun at the fact he got with your girl, you have your honor to protect. In a situation like that, it would be your call. I would personally make him wish he never did or said anything. Maybe not the right thing, but it is right for myself.
As far as the girl goes, I'm sorry to say that it is in your best interest to get rid of her. You need to get as far away as possible, emotionally and physically. That is truly the only way to heal. By all means, forgive her for "To err is human, to forgive, divine", but DO NOT stay with her. I'm sorry bro, but once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!
Hope things lighten up! I'll be thinking of you because NO ONE should have to go through something like this.
Last edited by Kwally89; 03-29-2009 at 09:56 AM.
ouch... ya looks like every1 agrees... i think I'll have a serious talk with her and lay everything on the table.
As for the guy I already had a long talk with him 2... still really mad but I'm not gonna throw any punches, just not who I am. Ugh lol why can't it just be easy :P
no shortage of similar advice here. Prolly got enough, but I think it was a good insight posted earlier to say that her confession came as a release of her own guilt rather than her own good feelings toward you. Her guilt is a good sign she ain't all bad, but unless you're married for years with children, cheating like this so early in the relationship just means you're done. You don't deserve to be treated that way. Nobody does. You have every right to move on and forget about her. And you will be better off for it, believe me.
I wouldn't give them the benefit of a long talk. They really don't deserve it. I would just say " See Ya ".
Yeah man, I've made the mistake of keeping an old gf around after she's cheated...Worst mistake ever!!!
Bail bro, I'm sure she's not all that anyway. You can do better.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
They're not lying.
I had an ex who cheated.. Left me for the guy she cheated with and came back crawling.. I took her back. Guess what? She cheated again.
Save yourself a world of hurt. It will sting now, but not near as bad as it will if you try to hang on and it happens again another year or two down the road.
Dump the cargo and let the imperials have her.
This is a tough one man but you have to cut all ties with both parties. If they can do it once they they can do it again or even worse. As for a violent confrontation with him I always looked at it this way, if you beat him then you have to do the same to her since they are equally responsible for betraying you. Since you can't hit a girl my advice would be to stay away from them for life. They will both get served justice later on in life, karma is funny like that, you always get whats coming to you. Just learn from this and move on. Sorry to hear such awfull news.
I gotta say, IMO it's not as cut and dry as all that. Fact is, the "friend" although a friend, is still a man. When it comes right down to it, it's the girl who has the say so when it comes to the "sheets". I say, cut ties with the girl, and keep the friend. Punish him for it, but don't necessarily put all of the blame on him. If he's really your friend, he feels horrible. Now that it's happened, he'll think twice before even thinking about doing that to you again if you handle it right. ( I'm not talking about bro's before "...." either). Although it sounds like it I'm sure.
What it comes down to is, boys will be boys. There is scientific fact to it. Some just don't have the moral/intestinal fortitude to handle a situation like this without caving in. Which is why we get such a bad rap. The girl on the other hand, should have nipped it in the bud before it went too far. It's testament that she's no good for you, and WILL do it again in the future.
I'm sorry this happened to you man
2 cents ...
Last edited by fettpride; 03-30-2009 at 06:30 PM.
dude, just disintagate em both...... W.W.F.D?
Man, I'm with FP on this...I would let your bro know he is at the low end of the totem pole, but still keep him a friend. As for the woman, cut ties and draw the lines...give her the boot and then in a couple weeks or months when she is missing you, just keep standing your ground. You will find someone who wont do that **** to you, thats assured.
This is a very hard situation to be in, its happened to me in the past also, in my opinion you should just leave the girl without giving her the benefit of any talking just try and move on and act as if you couldnt give a dam about her or what she done to you. As for the friend in my case i didnt speak to him for about 2 years and slowly we became friends again. It all depends on how you feel though, but definately dont give her another chance
Hope it all works out for the best brother.
If I knew only to break it off when went through this...
Leave her, end the situation, but next time you see them be extra nice to them!! They'll wonder what you are plotting, constantly look over their shoulder, and it'll make them very nervous.
In the long run(because you never made a fuss about it), you'll turn out to be the bigger man and may even end up being friends with them in the end.
It happened to me, that's what I did, and I still talk to the couple.
That was 8 years ago.
I don't want to push any buttons...I guess people just think VERY VERY differently...
Me man, me not bad, me not treat women bad, not like caveman. me like women, me treat with respect, me no not why women be mean.................................... seriously is this what its come to. The whole its in are nature to be a manwhore is old. Not all women are cheats and not all men only live to steal there friends girl. This is a case of two people who more or less are scum, scum, scum ,scum. Pizza man is better off without them.
Last edited by whistle8mp; 04-01-2009 at 10:36 PM.
IMO Sell her to Jabba, freeze your friend and hang him on your wall... and continue to stand there looking awesome!
Speaking only from personal experiance.... nothing good will come out of keeping her around.
I had a GF that cheated on me (obviously)... we tried again but the trust was gone. Later i found out that before she got together with me she cheated on her ex with me.
I still have contact with her though every now and then, around the holidays and such... she says she still thinks of me a lot and the "what ifs".. so i guess that is my revenge... keeping her guilt alive.
Right now i'm living in an apartment with a lovely girl and with a 5 month old son (who apparently loves Lightsabers as seen in my other thread) and i couldn't be happier.
*** EDIT ***
Oh and by the way. Their feelings are their problems. Don't get suckered in to feeling sorry for them. Besides.. You have to tend to your own feelings of hate, abandonement, jealousy, resentment or whatever you might be feeling atm. so don't sell yourself cheap by feeling sorry for them. They don't deserve it. You deserve better.
And coincidently.. i happend to listen to Slipknots' "Duality" at the time.. A LOT.. for some reason it was the only song that i could "let it all out" with and i fellt that it expressed some of the emotion i had in me at the time..
Last edited by Boba Swede; 04-02-2009 at 11:08 PM.
what's with all the gals doing the stepping out these days? i mean i know men have always cheated, and that's dead wrong in my opinion, and likely woman have as well. but, it just seems like women are stepping out more now than ever. it's just the deterioration of our moral compass. no one, or very few, take the time to teach their kids right from wrong. then they get out in the "real world" and are taught all the self indulgant amoral bs that's being crammed down our throats. i mean, i'm no quaker in my beliefs but, what's wrong with opening doors for women, giving up your seat for a woman or the elderly, teaching kids right from one, being faithful to who you're with etc.
my best friend got home from a year in korea a few months back. he was welcomed with a 1 month old daughter. you do the math. needless to say, his nearly 10 year marriage came to an end. about a year and a 1/2 ago, my wife of 7 years and i split and divorced after she "couldn't handle being a cops wife". she had been out having inapproprite relationships with men. she claims no full on cheating but i can't say i believe her. we tried to work through things for 3 years, mostly because we had 2 children together. ultimatly after tons of pain and finally becoming numb i decided i was done. i've talked to friends from high school, i come from a small conservative christian farm community btw, and found out that many of their wives and girlfriends have played them as well.
i just don't get it. i've been with girls i flat out loathed and never cheated on them. where is peoples self control?
as for your friend, he's as guilty as her. f-him.