Jan 18, 2011, 10:43 PM - Hello Everyone
I haven't been around here much over the past couple years, and thought it was time I revisited.
For those who don't remember, and for those who weren't around at the time, I will say I didn't leave under the best of circumstances. I had fallen behind on a few orders of the vac formed gauntlets and armor I used to sell, I fell behind on a commissioned Fett suit build for another member here, and generally just dug myself into a big hole.
I destroyed my good reputation that I had built over several years, and ruined the friendships I had made here. I deserved every bit of it though. My only answer at the time was to pull away from the site and all my problems.
I never used to be a very open person, and when problems would arise I would keep them to myself. I've learned over the past couple years that that is not how to live. I only shared it with a couple of people on the boards back at the time, but I was going through some pretty rough things in my personal life around the time that it all happened. Like I said, at the time I felt like keeping things to myself was the way to handle it. I realize now that if I had shared what was going on, at least to an extent, I would most likely have received some much needed support from you all.
To keep a long story short, I basically hit rock bottom. It started with a girl (what bad story doesn't) who I had been dating for nearly 3 years. I loved her dearly, and had plans to ask her to marry me on the 3 year mark. I had a ring picked, and everything planned. Then a little over 2 months before that day, she started hanging around some old friends of hers that lived nearby. Ends up they didn't like me, because I don't drink or party like they do. They pretty much brainwashed her into believing I was no good for her, she ended up breaking up with me, and with their encouraging she started fooling around with a married man.
I took it so hard. One of those where you physically hurt because of emotional pain. I started withdrawing into myself, and got to a really bad place. I wasn't eating, wasn't going out any, and just didn't care about anything. That's when my work and orders started slipping on here. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was at a point I didn't care about any of it.
I reached the point of being suicidal, having given up on the hope of ever being happy again. Thankfully a good friend of mine from back in school moved back to town, and looked me up. He showed up at my house one day, and could tell I was pretty bad off. Ends up he had had a somewhat similar situation happen to him, and he really gave me some great advise. He had sought professional help for his problems, and strongly encouraged me to get help as well.
Fast forward to present day, and I am almost 100% better. I look forward to every day again, and have put the negativity of that time behind me. I'm so thankful for my family and friends and their support. Without them I probably wouldn't be here today.
I just wanted to write this all to give some explanation to why I did what I did back then. To the best of my knowledge I have made things right with everyone who I let down back then. If there is anyone who I didn't take care of, please PM me, and I will do everything I can to make things right.
I felt my apology was owed to everyone here. I know it is a bit late, but I felt I needed to make things right with myself before reaching out in such a public way as this. It is still hard to share all this so publicly, but I know it is what I need to do, and I will be better off for it.
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this. I really hope I can be accepted here once again, and that I can rebuild the good reputation I once had.
Jan 18, 2011, 11:01 PM - Re: Hello Everyone
Those sound like some hard knocks... Glad that you're back on track.
Jan 18, 2011, 11:44 PM - Re: Hello Everyone
Hey RS- Ya, very brave statement. Happy to see things are headed in a positive direction for you. Best of luck here on tdh.
Jan 19, 2011, 9:55 AM - Re: Hello Everyone
Thanks guys, it really means a lot. I had already sent a personal apology to Art, but I felt like I owed an explanation and apology to everyone here.
Jan 19, 2011, 12:14 PM - Re: Hello Everyone
Welcome Back! Always good to hear how someone has turned things around and come back! Sorry I wasn't on the boards back then but welcome back!
Jan 19, 2011, 6:48 PM - Re: Hello Everyone
Much respect mate. It takes a lot of courage to do what you've just done. I've been in a similar situation and come out the other end a much stronger person. Women, can't live with em....can't disintegrate em.
Jan 20, 2011, 7:07 AM - Re: Hello Everyone
Welcome back, Rimshot.
Glad to hear that your life is back on track.
Jan 20, 2011, 8:38 AM - Re: Hello Everyone
Thanks everyone, the kind words really mean a lot. Especially from you Mark, since you were one of the people I treated so poorly during that time.
Jan 20, 2011, 10:51 AM - Re: Hello Everyone
Hey, no probs.
Life's too short for grudges.
Besides, we all have our little hiccups
Jan 20, 2011, 11:21 AM -
I did not know you when all of this went down, but that is one fantastic explanation and heartfelt apology. It took a lot of courage to hit that post button. I hope you reclaim your good reputation, and get your second chance.
Jan 20, 2011, 11:29 AM - Re: Hello Everyone
Thank you mightytank. It was somewhat difficult to share what happened, but one of the things I have worked hard to change over the past couple years is my tendency to keep things to myself and let them bottle up. Talking about things is a great stress reliever. I know it will be a slow road to redeeming myself, but it is a road I am willing to take.
Jan 20, 2011, 5:23 PM - Re: Hello Everyone
I was just stumbling through post and saw this one by you. I feel better having ordered your armor knowing you had a good reputation back in the day. Glad to hear your life is back together.
Jan 26, 2011, 1:26 PM - Re: Hello Everyone
Jan 27, 2011, 1:37 AM - Re: Hello Everyone
If she didn't realize what she had. Well that's her loss!! Not yours. End of Story. Things happen for a reason and it sounds like you are a better person all around.
Jan 27, 2011, 5:23 AM - Re: Hello Everyone
This is a truly refreshing thread. I've come from a couple other message boards where I've been ripped off more than once and said 'ripper offer's' never sort things out let alone give an apology. Very upstanding of you brother!
I'm glad your life is back on track and I wish you all the best in the future.
Oh and to be honest bud, it seems as if you were too good for your ex anyway.